Fats Momino

In the mid-90’s, I had an unfortunate accident where my front teeth got smacked in. My dentist rushed into the office on the weekend, still in his soccer shorts (Hmm), to give me temporary falsies until he could embark on a year-long process of reconstructing my signature smile. I got my smile back, and he acquired more riches from working my mouth than should be legally allowed. But for a good two weeks after the accident I could eat nothing. I couldn’t even drink anything too lumpy. A number of well-meaning but inane people commented to me that the silver lining to this cloud of misfortune was that I would lose weight from not eating. Hah. I showed them. There was nothing that I could not puree, pour into my mouth, and gingerly swallow. And so that I would not feel sorry for myself, I would chase down servings of multi-food/vegetable soups with Calorie-Loadattas and Sugary Sweet Smoothies.

A few years ago, I read some inspiring books on Veganism. In addition to the gesture of humaneness toward animals, eggs, and brie cheesewheels, Veganism promises good health, an end to digestive disorders, and yes – the opportunity to lose weight. “Have you ever met a Fat Vegan?” the books ask? If I can gain weight with no teeth, let’s see what I can do eating only nuts, seeds, fruits, vegetables, grains, sugar (it IS vegan!), cocoa, and all manner of non-dairy fat substances.

To celebrate the cause, I present my family’s favorite vegan recipe:

Pumpkin “Cheese” Cake

12 oz. firm silken tofu, pureed
8 oz. nondairy cream cheese
1 cup canned pumpkin
1 cup granulated sugar
3 Tbsp. flour
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/8 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1 prepared graham cracker crust

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Purée all the ingredients except the pie crust in a food processor and pour into the graham cracker crust. Bake at 350°F for 50 minutes. Allow to cool for 30 minutes, cover with plastic wrap or the top of the pie container.